Monday, May 7, 2007: monday blues.
i've never been so demoralised before. stupid driving lessons. i almost want to give up on learning how to drive. today i was scolded until my driving instructor gave up scolding me and just shook his head and said "kristi, what am i going to do with you?" and it was such a crappy day because,
1. i forgot to bring my learner's permit, there were police officers (luckily we didnt get caught)
2. i kept stalling at every stop sign
3. i almost got knocked down because i keep forgetting to look left and right at every junction
4. i keep forgetting how to do a hill start (but thats because the stupid handbrake wouldnt go down, and when i do eventually get it to go down i forget to push it down all the way before letting go and the car stalls again)
5. i always forget to look in the rearview mirror before i break
6. i forget to slow down when i turn into a different lane
7. i drive crooked and my driving instructor calls me drunk
8. i always release my clutch too early
9. i almost knocked into a parked car along the street because i took so long to look at my blind spot
10. i try to go slow but then my driving instructor keeps telling me to change gear and i end up speeding
11. i realise i cannot parallel park because i dont know how to reverse properly
12. i do know that when you drive around a bend you follow the curb as a guide and you go as close to it as possible, but then i'm so scared i'll drive up the curb and i dont know how much of the wheel to turn so i dont turn that much and i end up cutting into the next lane where cars are going into the opposite direction. and i get scolded again.
you know, it was so bad today when he gave up on me that i felt like crying and giving up too just then. i have so many mistakes, and i know all of them, but when i'm on the road, i just forget them all and i panic and everything just goes wrong. i want to give up, really. i dont want to drive anymore.
but when i was sitting in the back seat and the other student took over, something reminded me, "Jesus never gave up on what He came to earth to do. He wanted to give up but He didnt." so why should i give up? this is only a minor setback, and i already feel so demoralised. what about the big things God has called me to do?
i dont want to give up halfway.
a shout of praise.
5:29 PM
